Correspondent DEAR SHAUN : I’m afraid of the dark. I know, logically, that there is typically nothing to be afraid of. But, when the lights go out I have this existential and very real terror crawl all around in my brain. Do you have any advice for getting over this silly albeit very serious fear?
DEAR SCAREDY CAT : I completely empathize. I am afraid of the shower. Not showering, I am clean, I can assure you. I am scared of a shower, standing alone on its own. If I walk into a bathroom, it could be mine, it could be a friend’s, it could be one in one of those big truck driver stops, wherever it is, if the curtain is closed my “fight or flight” brain is convinced there is something behind that that will hurt me.
It’s like Schroedinger’s Shower. I truly won’t know if someone or something is behind the curtain until I very dramatically pull it back and save myself from the potential terror. Every time, though, right as I’m about to grab that curtain, I ask myself what would I actually do if there was a threat waiting for me? Would I be able to defend myself or would I just save the attacker the bother of being sneaky? So then, I’m asking myself: Should I carry a weapon? Should I say out loud that I know they’re in there? Should I take a knife and just start stabbing at the curtain to stop the attacker? Things escalate fast.
Ultimately I take a deep breath and pee sitting down like I always do.
So for you, you have to find your breath and move onto your routine. Remind yourself that we aren’t in control of anything nearly all the time. Even when you feel in the most control, the world is random and infinite. A dominatrix can still trip in their heels and hurt themselves. Jeff Bezos’ yacht still has the potential to sink. Ime Udoka can still cheat on his partner despite the fact that his partner is Nia Long and is a national icon.
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